Saturday, February 26, 2011

Today I feel like I'm 80

There are currently two things in my life that I feel like I am in denial of:
1) Getting older
2)I am about to graduate college

I can think of only a few times in my life where I actually can feel like I am getting older... and today is one of them. I actually hate these days, I hate that I can feel my muscles aching, and hear my bones cracking after each step that I take... quite frankly... it sucks. Last night my a few friends and I had the brilliant ida of participating in a 5k... (who wouldn't want to spend their friday night doing this?) but of course we were not going to RUN this thing.. but blade it baby And now as it is nearing the end of the day I have been for the most part non mobile due to the shock and soreness that my body has not felt in months. I guess this is a good thing though... way to rock it GLOW 5k!!!

The weather today has put me in a mood where all I really want is the SUN and SUMMER. I just need it to be ohhh a good 70 degrees with the sun out.. and you better believe the skipping of classes to lay out will begin (sorry dad). A motto for mine in college has been:

"You can always retake a class...but you can never relive a party" 

I hold pretty true to this statement because, yes I may have retaken a class here or there.. do I regret it? Absolutely not. Although graduation is coming just around the corner... like really though, we are about to have spring break and then it will be April.. and then May.. AH! Yes, I'm nervous.. I have to admit I think I have come to a peace where I am just more excited than anything. I am pumped for the next chapter of my life. I truly have NO clue what that is going to look like at the moment, but that is the beauty of it. I know come May I will be moving back to Spicewood,TX for another summer at Camp Travis.. and I couldn't be more thrilled about that one... and when August comes.. WHO KNOWS what is next! and that just gets me so EXCITED! Leaving on such a fun note I will leave you with one of my favorite songs right now!

ChoosingJOY, and lovin' FIREWORKS!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Purple velour skirts are not for me

This semester I have the blessing of being enrolled in a "Women's Writers" class..... any by blessing... I mean complete torture. Due to a little scheduling mishap in the beginning of the semester I had to be forced into this class.... For those of you who know me, know that I would NEVER in a million years actually CHOOSE to be in this class... Luckily, one of my rho's is in the class with me and she is my saving grace (what's up HANNAH BIRES!) The whole time her and I can't help but make jokes about the situation that we are both it... Hannah I don't mean to call you out by any means... but did you actually CHOOSE to be in that class? I will have to admit it has been good for me to be surrounded by people that I would never have though I would be surrounded by. Women that clearly have VERY differnet view points on life, and the female role. I am not one to say that women can't do things, but I am not one who would be caught at a womens rights rally... and I feel like, oh more than half of my class would be the leaders of the protest! But I suppose with this being said it is an opportunity for me to ChooseJOY.. I do actually think I am making another friend in the class, her name is Emily (she would have NO idea what my name is... I'm ok with that) and she bites off the skin around all of her fingers... I've watcher her since day one... but I am making process... I made her laugh the other day when I was attempting to take a picture of my proffesor's outfit with my phone... how do I pass up a full length purple VELVET skirt with matching shirt...yea you CAN'T.. totally worth the chance of being caught! Like I said.. making process.

There is something that is truly special when you can look up into the sky at night and having it be a clear night and all you can see are the millions of stars out in the air.... I have a few places in town where I will go sometimes to get alone..The world that we live in is SO fast paced and it is NOT slowing down...I will be the first to admit that I am extremely guilty of being busy all the time.. and going going going and not taking time to do something that we are called to do "Be still.."(Psalm 46:10). What does it feel like to be still? Personally for me it takes me to be completely alone with no distractions... and have something that will focus my attention solely on our Creator... most of the time I will put on a play list that just sings about how Great our God is. It is SO awesome to have the Lord meet you in those times.. if you haven't had the chance to do this lately... try it. Go be alone with our Wonderful Maker tonight, sit and be still..

ChoosingJOY & Being Still,

Monday, February 21, 2011

And then the beat comes, and then she's moving on the dance floor..

Well ready or not it's back! The time of year that holds a special place in my heart and also at the same time that everyone loves/dreads all in the same.... CAMPAIGN SEASON! So tomorrow morning at 7:30 when all you unlucky people are driving to your 8AM classes(Rookie mistake) do not be caught off guard when you see people standing on the corners of campus holding their signs(most likely the sweet little fish in the corps, my brother for example holding signs for 5fortyell). Here is the thing about campaigning, I love it. I love it because it is competition and what better of competition that involves the bettering of our beloved school! Best of luck to all the candidates!

I LOVE the show the bachelor! I think it is because I live vicariously through each one of them... and NO not is in a sense that I am in love with brad.. because  I'M NOT. I just get hooked, emotions are high, roses are being handed out, girls are being catty... ha I feel like that may be every guys nightmare but for me I LOVE that I can watch it and laugh.... and then be able to turn it off and not think any more about it. For the most part I like to think I am a drama free person, I have told many people that I would not be very good on this show. I would be the girl that no one would know because I would just sit back and laugh at all of the others... But I truly have fallen in love with Emily this season... she's precious!

Something that I have been learning is that... our God can be and actually DESIRES to be what ever you allow Him to be in your life.. and the best part about it is that he is the perfect in ALL areas.. I know it blow my mind daily too. It is usual for me to ask the Lord to be my provider, and comforter... but even in the lonely times the Lord desires to romance us... and I know it was weird for me at first too... but as a girl, believe me there are times that you want to be loved and how beautiful to know that my God thinks the WORLD of me and that I am perfect the way that I am and DESIRES to provide a sensitive and romantic relationship with me... The Lord has just been blowing me away recently with all of His perfect attributes. I encourage you to think about the areas in your like that the Lord desires to fill your life... and LET HIM!

Beware tomorrow of the overwhelming campaigns going on... and freshman welcome to your first campaign season! Enjoy it, it makes our campus so uniquely beautiful (right britt.. ha)

Keep dancing & ChoosingJOY my friends,

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Hangin' With Hezekiah..

Hezekiah.. who the heck is that? Why am I hanging out with him? And why do I have a friend named that.... all 3 VERY valid questions. Let me see if I can help.

This morning I at church we studied Isaiah ch. 36-39 and these few chapters are over the life of my close friend here Hezekiah. So, let me tell you a little bit about him. He was the son of Ahaz and the King of Judah around the time of 700BC (yes, a stinking LONG time ago). Now, no I'm sorry I am not going to give you a Bible lesson, because many others could do a MUCH better job than I- so ask them. So why am I hangin' out with this guy... well hanging out, not so much. But can I relate to him? Absolutely.

So many times I feel that I am so good about going to the Lord in the tough times and being obedient to fall to my knees with a humble heart when things are not going smoothly. (Lots of us can relate to that) but it is truly when things are going great I quickly forget that the Lord is still the orchestrator of that and my pride quickly (just like my man Hezekiah's) once did too. We forget that everything good comes from the Lord and just as quickly we humble ourselves to fall on out knees when things are tough, we just be doing the exact same when things are cruisin'. Pouring one out for the King of Judah today.

God is not looking for a moment of TRUST, but a lifetime of TRUST. Every time that we are faced with a fearful situation, when we are anxious, worried, it is an opportunity for sure to show the world that HE is worthy of our TRUST! (how COOL is this!) Hoping that we can both follow and learn from your friend and mine Hezekiah!

On this beautiful day things that I remembered I LOVE:
1)Sunshine - I need the SUN to be back not so I can have warm weather but so I can lay out.. duh
2) Chipotle Salads- (right KFK)?
3) honesty
4)Spontaneous road trips to Austin with Brittany
5)The movie "Coyote Ugly"

This semester is quickly coming to an end, so crazy how fast things are going! So many things I want/need to do as a student at Texas A&M... although I must say, one by one things on my bucket list are being crossed off...

 Enjoy your night, in honor of the movie "Coyote Ugly" go take a look at the moon. And OH BABY... I have the FEVER!    

ChoosingJOY & trusting,

Friday, February 18, 2011

Late Night Drama Queen

Here are few things that one should know:

1) Getting Steamy in STEAMBOAT: 23 days!
2)Graduation: 85 days!
3)CAMP: 84 days!

With just listing those three things, I can't help but get SO excited! This semester is FLYING by, but I am loving every minute.. and I feel just about the time I begin to love the moment it is here and gone! I feel as if I need to let you in on a little secret.. There is ONE thing (yes, just one) that I feel I have ALWAYS been good at. In fact, I think I would even go as far to say that I believe it is a God given talent of mine... now that I have you on the edge of your seat.... procrastination. This is one thing that I have consistently been GREAT at my whole life, and it has yet to let me down in my last semester of college. I will confess that I am the person that every semester for well.... now 8 semesters that has started each one in the same way... I will fill my planner with due dates, highlights, reminders.. in hope that I would some how be encouraged to start early. As much as I have learned this about myself, I have also seen how well I can work under pressure. Now, is the pressure fun? NO. easy? NO. at any point is there any enjoyment? absolutely NO. I think it is safe to say I have lost every time to school, when it comes to "starting early".... so yet again at the age of 22, I pulled my first all night last night (hence the NO blog... even though at times I was EXTREMELY tempted to work on that instead of a paper) but with the little self-control in that area... I held it together... looking back on last night.. do I regret not blogging..YES. So what have we learned here....blogging > school and yes that looks about right. I will be the first to tell you that pulling an all-nighter is NEVER worth it.. I am writing this and I absolutely feel like I was hit by a stampede of stinking buffalo.... a feeling that I hate. So if you are thinking, all nighter  tonight?? Let me help you out... not worth it. Hence where my title comes in again, "Late Night Drama Queen" by: Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors- I think my favorite line in this song has to be, "she just wants someone who can understand she's crazy and loves caffeine" but when listening to the song last night, I don't really know if it was because I was completely exhausted and it was about 5:30 in the morning but that song rocks. Yea- that's all I can say about it. But if I'm going to be choosingJOY is staying up all night, and reading a book that was literally a battle to stay awake while reading, and THEN having to write a paper over a theme in the book that I didn't even understand... you better believe there will be an AWESOME soundtrack playing in the background... to mostly drown out my reading and encourage me to sing more.

The last thing is, I am going through this book that is a daily devotional titled, "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young... it is my favorite daily devotional that I have ever read through... I just want to end with some encouragement and then it's back to the books... (man, school is getting in the way)

"Your relationship with me is meant to be vibrant and challenging, as I invade more and more areas of your life. Do not fear change, for I am making you anew creation, with old things passing away and new things continually on the horizon. I want you to embrace all that I am doing in your life, finding your security in Me alone."-Jesus Calling.

Oh baby! I get pumped! It is so good to be reminded of the truth that the God of the universe is at work in my life and the old is GONE and the new has COME!

ChoosingJOY & Running with the Shadows of the Night,

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Behind these Hazel Eyes...

Kelly Clarkson(the Harrell sisters idol... yahooo Allie) wrote a song about about life as she feels behind her eyes, and while I am not 100% sure if you would say my eyes are hazel... I thought that the title of the song was fitting... and also going with the music theme that I have sort of set up.

Eyes can mean different things. Now before you think I am absolutely nuts let me explain! What are eyes used for? Duh, to see. Right. I think a lot of times in my life though I have a very selected vision and only allow myself to see that things that I WANT to see. For example, do I wake up every morning to look at images of hurt, poverty, starvation that is going on around the world? No. Why? Well because who would want to cloud their vision with hurt and brokenness? Not this girl! But in reality... it's truth and it's real. Now for my second definition of eyes.... when people look at me what do they see? Do they see the person that I truly am? Or are they seeing somebody that I again WANT them to see. If people had eyes on me at all time, would they see Christ in me? That is a question that I find extremely convicting. Now my last definition, how can I have the Lord's eyes when I look out into the world? I feel as if I would look, and take a much different perspective to a lot of things. Again, convicting.
Tonight we sang a song with the lyrics "We will fix our eyes on you.." (and the You being Jesus) Are my eyes fixed on Jesus? As much as I want to answer a confident YES to this question.. it is tough to do. My eyes wonder, just like my heart is prone to wonder from Jesus so do my eyes. They wonder to: goals, future, friends, identities... the list could truly go on and on. If my eyes were fixed upon Him, the next line of the song went "my heart is set on you..." WOW. It is a daily prayer that the Lord would give me His eyes and then to go about my day. Oh, but how quickly I ask of that and how quickly I forget and put back on my blinders. With all of this to say, I NEED my eyes fixed on Jesus daily and so often they wonder to what I WANT them to see. I WANT success, I WANT a family (eventually...ha), I WANT a career... and I get lost in the trap of fixing my eyes on these things and want a 20/20 vision on them, and the path that the Lord desires for me to see gets just a little big foggier. I long for my need and want to be one in the same, I suppose that is where discipline in asking and truly longing for my eyes to be what the Lord wants, not what I want to see comes in.

Now that there are a few definitions of EYES what will yours be?
1) The eyes that only see what you WANT them to see...
2)The eyes of what people see in you...
3) The eyes that you desire for the Lord to give you and see through His vision...

So badly I want to say well #3... but when I sit here and think about it.. what am I using my eyes for?
My challenge to you and myself, see through the Lord's eyes, they will bring you the most truth and most JOY.                    
Enjoy this: "With Everything" By: Hillsong

 ChoosingJOY and thinking about eyes,

Monday, February 14, 2011

"Happy Independence Day"- Brittany Davis.

Happy Valentine's Day!
or as a friend of mine would say "Happy Independence Day".... thanks Britt...

So here is the thing.. As I start to write my second post I am a bit confused.... I don't want to be a cheesy blogger, yes I may be a little blog self-conscious, but seriously! How do I approach this? I surely don't want to be "that girl" who says: "Dear Blog" "Hey its' me again"..
1) this is not an online journal
2) and duh it's me... who else would be writing this thing.. sometimes these things can go a bit over the top.

Welcome Valentine's Day 2011, the day where well most girls have spent the past week trying to find the perfect outfit, to wear on the perfect Valentine's Day date, and so with at the time their perfect boy.. or we have the other extreme.... those who can find NO happiness in what is well, just another day. Bitter at the world because they find themselves going to class in the same tshirt they wore the night before, not caring that their hair is needing to be washed, grabbing take out, and coming home to their roommates so conclude the evening with an intense love battle on The Bachelor...(will Brad get rid of that CooCoo bird Michelle this week??) - Right, now if you didn't get that.. I just described my day.. yet minus the bitterness.
I actually LOVE Valentine's Day...why you ask? Well, I love... LOVE. And no I don't really know what love is... Hey I'm 22... I have LOTS of time to figure things out.. but like I said, a daily decision in ChoosingJOY. So I am. I am taking refuge in that the Lord has demonstrated the most BEAUTIFUL love of all, His son Jesus and that absolute perfect gift of his life. (Romans 5:8) and that is something that we can all get excited about LOVE for:)
ChoosingJOY that I got to laugh with my best friends today, spent an awesome night with them, and ChoosingJOY that... yep Michelle is gone. (in the nicest way possible!)
As the night closes, choose JOY right where you are in life, it's a beautiful thing..

And honestly as every Valentine's day should end... with a little Taylor Swift


Sunday, February 13, 2011

Save Me, San Francisco...

Well here we go... After having this thing set up for almost a little over a month now, I think it is safe to say that I am an official blogger. Now, what does that mean? Great question. I have no clue. I always loved the movies where the girl will sit down a type on a computer and e-mail/write her thoughts out...(ok, it could also be because "You've Got Mail" is one of my favorite do you not love the Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan duo) Anyway, it has come to my attention that I thought I would like this whole blogging concept. Now before you read any further I promise you that:

1) you will not walk away any smarter than when you first started reading
2) chances are against me in that you will probably get bored pretty quick
3) if I some how embarrass myself on here, please continue to make fun of me in person.

So what is a blog? What am I supposed to even write on this thing? I suppose it should go off of what was the toughest thing for me to do so far... "create a title"! Talk about pressure. I went with the first thing that came to mine. "ChoosingJoy" So what does choosingJOY look like? ChoosingJOY can look absolutely different for everyone, because quite frankly we all live VERY different lives, and I am happy for that:) But in my life ChoosingJOY is a daily decision. Am I am going to wake up in the morning go to class, come home, eat and go to sleep or whatever my schedule may look like.. with or without the JOY that comes from the Lord in my life. When circumstances are tough, am I going to be seen ChoosingJOY in the midst of them? We have the choice each day in ChoosingJOY or not.. my challenge to you is, what will you choose?
 Ok, so if you can't tell I am a long winded person and can talk for hours, if you know me... don't let me.. it's exhausting to listen to...i know.

Now for the caption of the first blog, "Save me San Francisco"... This past weekend I had the chance to go see TRAIN in concert at the San Antonio rodeo with some of my dear friends! It was a blast... "Save Me San Francisco" is a title of one of their new songs (awesome...check it out)... and I also chose this because San Fran is a city i want to visit SO badly (pour one out for Kyle Matson)...

Here is one of my other favs by them : If It's Love

Well with ALL of that being said, first blog is COMPLETE... I hear the first is the hardest.. hope it's true